11/18/2002 05:34:16 PM|||Travis||| Great things are happening (as usual). I went to a mind-altering/healing Rave out in the desert of California this week. It was there I met Christi (like Christ with an I) who is a great source of inspiration and led to the re-evaluation of my life as it is and how I should change it. I re-framed my mind around a couple of core principles to keep my focused on what is important to me, and what is not important to me.
First off, about Christi. She looked a little younger, around 18. Short, blond hair and a heathly little ring of fat around her entire body. Wearing a little nylon flower-spotted dress she was pretty cute- probably the cutest girl at the Rave (arguably). She had a little sticker on the side of her face of a star. She was the type that had a little glow about her, like a halo. Just by looking at her you could tell that she was always up to something, always bouncing around talking to people etc. I noticed her right off the bat, but didn't get to actually talk to her until later when I was sprawled out on the ground looking up at the stars which where beautiful in the night's sky - being in the middle of the desert has its advantages. The moon had just set, and the stars had come out to play.
I was in this sprawled out position, when she approached me (as I thought she might) and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was looking for a shooting star, because of the metor shower and all and asked if she wanted to join me. Of course, she said and plopped down on her back right beside me. I then picked up her hand and started to massage it. I told her not to worry, that I was a professional hand mesus :) We then gazed up into the stars and she started to point out constialtions - Orion's Belt (which triggered some thoughts about the Greeks) and Cassipia, which is a W shaped constelation off to the right of Orions Belt.
Intermittinly there were shooting stars, but only Christi saw them. She kept tellling me "look, look there is one" but I was always looking at her instead.
While I was touching her hand, I noticed a number of rings on her hand. When I aksed about them she responded that they all stood for something because they all reminded her of a time when something happened to her. I think pointed at one and she elaborated on a story which i have since forgotten (she started it with "I was really drunk") but then we exchanged words that I might never forget. I told her that memory is very important, and she gasped.
"Memory is all that we have"
I may never forget that line, spoken in Christi's soft bubbly voice while I gazed up into the stars in the night's sky. It reminded me of information theory, gnosticism and Jesus' teachings as I understand them all rolled into one. Memory, information, a specific encoded pattern in our minds is what we are, it is all that we have.
I contimplated this fact on the way home and spoke to Christi, although only in my mind and thought she may become a guiding light as I move forward, changing my life, reframing my mind and accomplishing my goals. While thinking about this it is when I reached the conclusion that I should: 1- Take a vow of abstence (from substance, not sex) 2- enjoy my time with intelligent people more (specifically Jay and Jake) 3- Forget about the hedonistic mindset propegated by some ( Leah's E party/trap, Sean's Coke mentality, Cameron's drinking/smoking mentality, etc.) 4- Focus on the here and the now.
Yes it is true I was on the drug Empathy (Extasy if you prefer the mainstream name, Empathy was it's original name) which means :
1 : the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it
2 : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner
I would say that while on the drug I was able to understand the feelings of myself and others without the use of words to convey those feelings/experiences. It was through this feeling that I was able to communicate with Christi on a really deep level. I felt as if she was one who knew, Christ hiding in the body of a young woman who was propegating the message to enjoy the infinitley occuring now -- Heaven.|||84736802|||