7/29/2003 11:58:20 AM|||Travis|||

Woke up this morning with a sugar of 172 and slowly watched it climb, even though I went for a swim. One major thing that I did- no Lantus at all. Today I have no insulin (except the stuff my body is making) at all. I was about to crawl out of bed to take my Lantus, but then decided- fuck it. That might have been to much of a drop in the Lantus, as I went from 12 to 0. I was going to step it back to 8... but decided to fuck it :)

So now I have a choice- I can take some insulin and watch my sugar come down relatively quickly. Or I can fight it and just deal with high sugars for a day or two and see if they won't come down on their own, through some more excersize etc. Perhaps my kidneys can filter some out as my body struggles to deal with the cutoff of external insulin.

As an outsider reading this story, you may be somewhat confused as to what the hell is going on with all this sugar business. What I am trying to do, in a nutshell, is perform a miracle. I am trying to reverse my diabetes, and it is a battle, a constant struggle that I am faced with. But it is attuned to my new philosophy of the yes/no. Constantly I am being asked- should I move from the no to the yes, should I go for it. Can I change? These are what consume me right now and I believe that I have the power to change the world around me, to change myself and heal myself.

This is my story, its a story thats been told again and again, its a story about dreams, manifestation of said dreams and a firm willpower.

Its the story of God.

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