10/22/2003 10:36:01 PM|||Travis|||

I hate it when I park my car under a tree.

There is all this stuff that trees produce that just fall down, its unbelievable. First there are the leaves, which make for a sore sight when you come back and look at your car for the first time. Then comes the sap, or some other horrid crud. It leaves stains on the car that seem to last for weeks. I wouldn't mind much.. but I just washed it.

I am a still quite a mess right now.

I went to a bar to drown my sorro in alchohol and nicotine to no avail. I smoked and drank... and nothing. Not a damn thing. I have never felt more sober before in my life.

I spent a good deal of time talking with friends, looking for support.

It seems that every once in a while, I take a look around my life and see that there are some issues that must be addressed. Now is one of those times. Its like I am chopping away in the forest of life, and suddenly realize that I am chopping in the wrong forest. I get this sense that I must change, and change is tough.

Got to sleep on all these thoughts in my mind. Got to let them form into some sort of plan to get out.

G'night.

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